+0  
 
+3
97
1
avatar+310 

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. 

Alcohol! Because no great story started with someone eating a salad.

I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. 

If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer...

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done. 

If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

Don’t drink while driving – you might spill the beer.

Synth  Mar 22, 2018
 #1
avatar+340 
+2

LOL!

Lightning  Mar 22, 2018

19 Online Users

avatar

New Privacy Policy

We use cookies to personalise content and advertisements and to analyse access to our website. Furthermore, our partners for online advertising receive information about your use of our website.
For more information: our cookie policy and privacy policy.