I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
Alcohol! Because no great story started with someone eating a salad.
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer...
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.
If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?
Don’t drink while driving – you might spill the beer.