why am i here?

You are not here.

I know that you are not here because I am not blind, the room is not dark and when I look around me I do not see you.  I cannot hear you or smell you or touch you either.  I am not going to go to the 5th sense because just thinking about it sounds a bit gross.

However,

I am quite positive that you are not here!

That is incredibly gross.....taste you....BLECH!