Questions 2
Answers 601


Guest #1 is correct. You do need to add Earth’s radius to this distance – it is part of the “trickiness” needed to solve it.  I made the same mistake. My mentor caught it and asked me if I thought a satellite orbiting the Earth once every 78 seconds might seem a little fast?



Last year, my professor assigned this question as one of several related homework questions for my Physics for non-majors class.  The question asked for the gravitational force, orbital velocity, and period.  After completing the assignment, I sent it to my mentor for review.  After a few error corrections, the Troll Master said I should ask my professor about the use of the Titan IV. 


I reworded his rhetorical comments and wrote them on a post-it note attached to my homework:


I know this is a hypothetical question and it’s irrelevant how the satellite obtained its orbit, but why would the engineers use a $450 million Titan IV, capable of placing 12 times the payload in that orbit, when a $51 million Delta II could easily do this?


This class was usually taught by an undergrad, but my professor replied:




This was a government sponsored launch and spending 10 to 20 times more than necessary is par for the course.  In fact, the engineers might have received a bonus for keeping costs down.  

After 8 years of teaching physics classes, you have the unique distinction of being the first physics’ troll in the non-majors class.  You’ve renewed my hope for the modern world. 



LancelotLink told me this was a great accolade and I should put it on my resume. smiley


Before I met my favorite troll, the only humor I could ever see in physics was in the “Big Bang Theory.”

Oct 14, 2016

This answer looks like it’s from the forum’s resident guest banker from Killarney, who’s usually full of blarney, which means his answer is most likely wrong.  Honestly, you’d be better off randomly selecting one of the other answers. 

See this:


It not the only one but it's a doozy. 


My answer would be D. As a current liability of $120,000 and a long-term liability of $300,000.

While these rules may not be “fixed in concrete,” usually, current liabilities are obligations due in the current fiscal year, and long-term liabilities are after the current fiscal year. 

Oct 12, 2016

 Mr. Banker, I do not need to be drunk to fail in understanding a question. However, no amount of intoxication could ever compel me to embrace your blarney stuff (BS).  A high school or first year college student asks this question, not a fourth-year economics major. That’s why he “Don't know even where to start with this one.”  After your blarney loaded answer, he still didn’t know, but decided to change his major to animal husbandry.  He figures he may as well have the benefit of the bull if he’s going to have the BS.


Last year, the Troll Master commented on your posts, saying, if you gave investment advice the same way you answer questions on here, he’d know instantly in which bank you worked. Easily confirmed by reading the “call reports with an atrocious CAMEL-rating of nine (on a five scale), and observing the smoldering comptometers, further validating the ineptitude and incompetence.”   


He thought about having Lancelot bring in Chimp Carter – a famous bank examiner, to make a monkey out of the baboon.  Then he thought again, making a monkey out of a baboon is kind of redundant, isn’t it?


He wrote this limerick about you


There once was a banker from Killarney

Whose tender was measured in blarney 

His interest was in clabber

His answers in blabber 

No surprise he worked for Smith Blarney


The bankers of Smith Blarney make their money the old-fashioned way . . . they embezzle it. 

(I LAMAO when I read this, I thought it applicable to a few bankers I’ve dealt with.)


Aside from the limerick, he really thought you were Irish. I thought he was just saying that to bust my Irish rump --I mean my delicate hereditary hiney.


BTW, when I’m in the company of gentlemen my code of ethics always compels me to behave myself like a lady. I’ve not broken my code.  On this note, I’ll leave you with a question (and answers) you can run through your masterful computer to test its veracity.


Do you know the difference between a call girl and a crooked banker? One scrèws you for money and the other scrèws you out of it.  Another difference is there are some things a call girl won’t do for money. 

Oct 12, 2016

God! This reminds me of Naus so much! Many things remind me of the Troll Master in general or my mentor in particular. He has many personas—troll like and otherwise.  He would truly appreciate your “ring-side” boxing narrative.  He appreciates the sport of boxing and considers Jack Dempsey and George Forman to be the best boxers of the first and second half of the twentieth century.  In true troll fashion, he pointed out in amazed astonishment “that our modern, delicate, snowflake society still allows the sport, considering the primary point of the sport is to damage your opponent’s brain.”  Also, in troll fashion, if he ever had any serious reservations about the sport, he found it easy to be ethically ambivalent about it after having his “head pounded in a few times.”  LOL


You mention audience members murmuring that LancelotLink may have gone transgender. Well, that very thing happened a few years ago. I didn’t find out about it until a few months ago, after bribing chimp Loki for the password to some of the secret, classified minutes of A.P.E.’s board meetings, and then prying the non-minute’s details from the Top Banana, himself. 


It seems LancelotLink wasn’t satisfied with being the second smartest genetically enhanced chimp on the planet. The smartest chimp is Ayumu, the consulting mathematician for A.P.E. Lancelot admires her barbed comments, poo throwing skills, and, of course, her advanced math skills. 


LancelotLink returned to the practitioner who originally performed his genetic enhancement, Morgan le Fey.  After paying her fee, she altered his genetic code to augment his IQ, and told him to return in six months to stabilize the alteration. It worked, but she neglected to mention a major side effect.  While his IQ climbed at a steady pace, he started having “bad hair days” and “meltdowns” Yep! “Oh god! Peel me a banana! I’m becoming a girl!” 


This was the worst thing that could happen. Chimps (even after genetic enhancement) are patriarchal; the board of directors would not likely let him stay on the board, let alone remain as Top Banana –if he no longer had a banana.  It wasn’t likely he could hide his condition for long, either. While genetically enhanced chimps will wear suits when dealing with human primates, they tend to be nudists among themselves.  Sure enough, when LL called the board meeting to order, the members asked him, “where’s your thing? We all have our things. You can’t be CEO without a thing. That’s the order of things!” 


By then LancelotLink’s IQ was notably higher and he was ready for them. He told them while it’s true he no longer had one of those things, he now had one of these things and with one of these things, he could have as many of those things as he could ever want or need.   LancelotLink also pointed out that Bonobos are a matriarchal society and he could start an A.P.E. organization with them and this would severely diminish their profits and put them out of business in a few years – not to mention having many females making them look dumb. They would lose face. They would never recover from the disgrace. The chimps of the board started scratching their collective heads and decided to table the issue for further study.


This was moot anyway. Even with the 20 point jump in his IQ, LancelotLink didn’t like being female.  It made her too moody. What good is a higher IQ if you cry about everything? Ayumu was born female so she had many years of practice at dealing with moodiness and it would take years for LancelotLink to develop those skills. Another reason was he just couldn’t get the knack of wearing heels – even when she was sober; he kept falling on his face.  Also, she had a “resting bǐtch face.”  No way could a girl chimp conduct business with a face like that! Having a resting son-of-a-bǐtch face for a guy chimp is ok; It even improves profits.frown


LancelotLink made an appointment with the chirurgeon Morgan Tud.  Tud told him that Morgan le Fay temporally suspended his Y-chromosomes and reflected back the X-chromosomes. All he needed to do was avoid the stabilizing procedure and he would revert to a guy chimp after a few months.  Chirurgeon Tud was correct. He did revert and he kept about 12 points of his IQ improvement, although there was at least one side effect: Every time he tries on a new vest, he asks if it makes him look fat. (Personally, I think he’s quite handsome!)  smiley


 I miss my trolls.sad I wish that Morgan le Fay could temporally suspend every other beat of my heart. 


You seem familiar, guest. Are you JB? 

Oct 12, 2016

Someone is mixing up the metaphors here.


It’s not “my formula” that I played with for hours. That formula popped out like an oversized “Where’s Wally” character. Heureaka probably didn’t mention it because that would be like saying, “Notice the big elephant in the room.” 


What I played with for hours was the formula of “little mice” waltzing in the shadows.  This one: G_n(a_n)(z) = (z (-z^3+4 z^2-6 z+4))/(z-1)^4.  The Rube Goldberg formula (but only if it works). 


I do not know how to make these series (0, 1, 4, 10, 20, 35) or (0, 4, 10, 20, 35) appear when [n=0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, . . . ] probably because I do not know how to do [nested sub-scripted indexes??] Gn(an)(z)=Rube Goldberg formula.  I’m assuming the formula works but is poorly explained – z cannot = 1 else there is a division by zero.


By using the formula provided by "Guest #4", "from one of Hade’s rivers: G_n(a_n)(z) = (z (-z^3+4 z^2-6 z+4))/(z-1)^4", I derive the 35th term of the this series as: 7,140!!!!!. I tried a couples more terms for both.


This is great! Instead of just saying you did it, can you show an explicit example? step by step in time.  Remember a waltz is in ¾ time not 35


We genetically enhanced chimps are happy to learn from choreographed, waltzing mice, plucked, along with the formula, from one of Hade’s rivers –even if they do step a little out of time, but if they are just running around looking for the big cheese, we’re going to snack on them.  Right now, they are looking very tasty.

Sep 30, 2016