Connie’s dog Fido weighs 35 pounds.

okay anon - you have been very patient with us :)

$$\\$monthly weight lose $\ge \frac{35-28}{6}\\\\
$monthly weight lose $\ge \frac{7}{6}\;lbs\\\\$$

If you just change the poor dogs name to something better, like Spot or Rover, then the dogs self-esteem will improve and he will not need to eat so much to “medicate” his depression.

If that doesn’t work, find him a new mistress.

If that  doesn’t work, just change his name to Porky.

This sounds like excellent advice Nauseated.  

Do you work as a canine pschycholgist?   

If not then perhaps you should consider it.

This could be of dual benefit.  

Pet therapy is known to have great benefits, it is very soothing.    

A career change may be in order.

One thing I like about dogs is they rarely nauseate me – even when they roll in carrion. The very few that do manage to, I feed to my cats. They usually just barf them up, though. I guess the cats are nauseated too.    :)

Pet therapy does not seem to have made you placid.  I guess nothing works all the time.  

Pet therapy does not seem to have made you placid.

That’s true, but I do wag my tale more, especially since I became a Royal S.O.B.:)