+132 To whom it may concern:
I sent agent Chimp Dix to search for Sir CPhill.
Here is his report:
I found Sir CPhill a half mile down the beach, he’s pushing a giant beach ball up a hill. The ball keeps rolling back down. That sounds like a fun way to monkey around, actually!
Some suggestions (None of these are guaranteed to work):
If you want Sir CPhill to show himself when you ask a question, offer him a banana or a coconut. You don’t need to shuck the coconut, either –according to Charlotte, he is rather good at chopping them to size.
You might also offer to polish his armor and sharpen his sword, too. Although, he’s rather picky about who does that.
Did someone say "cookie"? D**n! Some human metaphors make me hungry.
I’m going back to cruising. There are some hot chimp chicks here.
End report
Humm. I really need to have a talk with him about cruising on company time.
Lancelot_Link (A.P.E.)
+132 Hi Happy.
Hi Rosala, It’s great you have returned, we’ve all missed you.
Hi Patsy, I like your dog. He seems very friendly. :)
Here’s one of my dogs. His name is Oscar. Short for Oscar Mayer wiener dog. That’s his favorite food. You are what you eat. Right?
I’m kind of surprised I don’t look like a banana or a peanut.
Lancelot_Link (A.P.E.)
+29 Hi Lancelot
Oscar is georgeous!
It is so good to see you again.
That's Snoopy. He is very friendly - just like me.
+2489 Hi Lancelot,
Your introductory post is not on the forum anymore. I was hoping to make a proper copy. I made an image on my phone, it’s only a thumbnail sized one, and not very readable. :(
I was in class still recovering from the Banana Phone post, when the translation of CPhill’s Wile e Coyote’s Latin popped up. You know how hard it is for us chimps to suppress laughter. My professor interrupted his lecture to ask if I was all right: He thought I was stroking out.
Are you looking for new talent? I would be pleased and honored to join your troop!
For me, maths used to cause abhorrent abominations and abstract algebraic afflictions of agony. Now, after studying this forum for months, I found the root of the problem, and even though my math skills are still down at the base, near the roots, I am well on my way to climbing the evolutionary maths tree.
Right now, I am studying Lagrange formulas in an attempt to find a solution to convert three-body libration points into two-body libration points. Making the orbital relationship binary should make things much simpler and more stable. Wouldn’t you agree?
Here are two equations that seem to work well at reducing this complexity.
$$\\ 9x-7i>3(3x-7u)\\
\ 9x-7i>9x-21u \\
\ -9x -9x -7i>-21u \\\
\ -7i \div -7 >-21u \div-7 \\\
= i<3u \\
\ And \\
\noindent
\ x^2 + (y-\sqrt[\leftroot{-2}\uproot{2} 3]{x^2})^2 = 1$$
Though my math skills are still wanting, my artistic and philosophy skills are paramount. I also make a great banana daiquiri, so I think I would fit in somewhere in your troop.
A proposal submitted for your consideration:
Perhaps we could have libations while studying librations and other complex relations?
Ginger
P.S. I posted this shortly after your cuddle-worthy kitten post, but it disappeared. I waited to repost because I thought it might return. I don’t think it will, but I hope you do soon.
****
Edit:
