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I realize that someone has already fixed the grammar and i will do that after i confirm that my interpretation of the documents are correct.

So we have to write a DBQ 

 

I have always been bad at writing DBQ's so i was wondering if someone would help me so that I can write DBQs in class better and more organized. please help more on the DBQ than the questions in the documents. Help on them if you still want to. DBQ is what i need the most help on. 

 

I dont want to have the small facts checked. I would prefer to have a general hint in the right direction in which then i can fix my essay myself. If i misuse a document please just comment to think of it in a different way with a hint and tell me to change it. Thanks. I really need to figure out how to write these because we have to write a total of 10 in class and i really dont want to fail this year. 

 

Question: Why did congress’ Reconstruction to ensure equal rights to the freedman fail?

 

Documents: I also am confused on the Questions underneith the Documents. Only the following however: Doc 2 Q2, Doc 5 Q2, Doc 8 Q1 and 2  I have solved all the other ones however. 

     Link: (Pdf) https://www.umtsd.org/site/handlers/filedownload.ashx?moduleinstanceid=1631&dataid=3011&FileName=DBQ.10_Reconstructions_Failure.pdf

 

My Essay: 

     After the events of the civil war, America was on its way to rebuild the nation. Attempts were made to reinstitutionate the southern receded states. Along with the efforts they wanted to create equal rights for the freedman. However the Congress’ Reconstruction efforts to ensure equal rights to the freedmen failed because of the a constant effort of supression of the freedman(1,2,4) , African Americans limited knowlege of the world outside slavery (6,7), and the shortage of politcal right activists(3,5,8.) A combination of these resulted in equal rights reconstruction efforts to fail.

 

     The constant effort of suppression of the new freedman caused the fight for equal rights to fail. An example of this is congressman Benjamin Boyer’s speech (Doc 1) claiming that the “negroes are not equals of white Americans, and are not entitled… to participate in the government of this country.” As Boyer is a democratic congressman his ideals are shifted towards helping the white man. And as a result with democrats in congress it becomes harder to pass laws to help the freedman. In correlation with Boyer’s ideals the Atlanta News (Doc 4) in which they glorified the power of white democrats in the north whom they believed should be fighting in order to cause the black man to submit. Convincing the masses of how black’s are inferior sparks a large scale barricade in the equal rights movement as many more people begin to fight for their own beliefs. As more people begin to fight for their beliefs they join already established organizations such as the Ku Klux Klan. The KKK were mentioned in the New York Times (Doc 2) who were actively rallying in order to bring back white superiority among the people. As Slaves had now become free and were on their way to be equal to the average white man, this upset many poor white farmers who did not own slaves as now they were the same as ex-slaves. 

 

      Once enslaved African American’s were announced free in the Southern States, majority stayed, as they had no place to go. Freed slaves had no home to go to, and they could still not get a job anywhere, so they were forced to stay at their plantation in order to maintain having food. (Doc 7) Black Activists/Politicians could not change this flawed paradox, and attempt to develop a better system, because if any freed black became a politician or was involved in political activities, they would not be hired anywhere. (Doc 6) The freedmen bureau was designed to be an open door to freedom, however “chains” were still attached to the “freedmen”. The freedmen's Bureau was a flawed system that only gave an illusion of freedom. 

 

      President Andrew Johnson’s Reconstruction plan gave a blank pardon to all ex-confederates, except for those who were rich plantation owners and those who held office before. (Doc 3)  As more confederates regained the right to vote again, a rise started in the Democratic Party. You can see the impact of this regain of rights, as on November 5th, 1874, congress was majority democratic. This caused problems as now, any bill proposing to help the freedmen would be named- as Democrats had a majority in congress. This undermined progression towards a better system of helping the freedmen be free, and not stuck to their plantation still. (Doc 5) Although Democrats had a majority in congress, Rutherford B. Hayes still won the electoral vote, from 1 vote off. Rutherford B. Hayes was agastined slavery, however still won the presidental election, when the other candidate was Samuel J. Tiden who was pro-slavery and was a Southerner. (Doc 8) This is considered the end of the Reconstruction.

 

     In conclusion congress’ failure to gain equal rights to the freedmen failed because of the a constant effort of supression of the freedman , African Americans limited knowlege of the world outside slavery , and the shortage of politcal right activists. A combination of these resulted in equal rights reconstruction efforts to fail.

 Aug 30, 2019
edited by BLANK  Aug 31, 2019
edited by BLANK  Aug 31, 2019
edited by BLANK  Sep 2, 2019
 #1
avatar+1586 
+2

First, I think this is off-topic...

2nd, just looking at the final paragraph:

 

     "In conclusion congress’ failure to gain equal rights to the freedmen failed because of the a constant effort of supression of the freedman , African Americans limited knowlege of the world outside slavery , and the shortage of politcal right activists. A combination of these resulted in equal rights reconstruction efforts to fail."

 

And I would rewrite it as:

 

     "In conclusion, congress’ failure to gain equal rights to the freedmen failed because of the constant effort of suppression of the freedman, African Americans limited knowledge of the world outside slavery and the shortage of political rights activists. A combination of these resulted in equal rights reconstruction efforts to fail."

 

It's not bad, just slightly cluttered.

 

I feel like you shouldn't post your classwork/homework here...

3RD-I'M  A GRAMMAR NERD, I DONT FIX DBQs! THIS IS THE ONLY AREA I CAN EFFICIENTLY HELP YOU IN!

 

Mainly because I just compared your essay to my own and the writing styles are different and the teacher would probably notice...

 

EDIT:

 

I'm going to fix the grammar...  but just the grammar...

Original Passage:

    " After the events of the civil war, America was on its way to rebuild the nation. Attempts were made to reinstitutionate the southern receded states. Along with the efforts they wanted to create equal rights for the freedman. However the Congress’ Reconstruction efforts to ensure equal rights to the freedmen failed because of the a constant effort of supression of the freedman(1,2,4) , African Americans limited knowlege of the world outside slavery (6,7), and the shortage of politcal right activists(3,5,8.) A combination of these resulted in equal rights reconstruction efforts to fail.

 

     The constant effort of suppression of the new freedman caused the fight for equal rights to fail. An example of this is congressman Benjamin Boyer’s speech (Doc 1) claiming that the “negroes are not equals of white Americans, and are not entitled… to participate in the government of this country.” As Boyer is a democratic congressman his ideals are shifted towards helping the white man. And as a result with democrats in congress it becomes harder to pass laws to help the freedman. In correlation with Boyer’s ideals the Atlanta News (Doc 4) in which they glorified the power of white democrats in the north whom they believed should be fighting in order to cause the black man to submit. Convincing the masses of how black’s are inferior sparks a large scale barricade in the equal rights movement as many more people begin to fight for their own beliefs. As more people begin to fight for their beliefs they join already established organizations such as the Ku Klux Klan. The KKK were mentioned in the New York Times (Doc 2) who were actively rallying in order to bring back white superiority among the people. As Slaves had now become free and were on their way to be equal to the average white man, this upset many poor white farmers who did not own slaves as now they were the same as ex-slaves. 

 

      Once enslaved African American’s were announced free in the Southern States, majority stayed, as they had no place to go. Freed slaves had no home to go to, and they could still not get a job anywhere, so they were forced to stay at their plantation in order to maintain having food. (Doc 7) Black Activists/Politicians could not change this flawed paradox, and attempt to develop a better system, because if any freed black became a politician or was involved in political activities, they would not be hired anywhere. (Doc 6) The freedmen bureau was designed to be an open door to freedom, however “chains” were still attached to the “freedmen”. The freedmen's Bureau was a flawed system that only gave an illusion of freedom. 

 

      President Andrew Johnson’s Reconstruction plan gave a blank pardon to all ex-confederates, except for those who were rich plantation owners and those who held office before. (Doc 3)  As more confederates regained the right to vote again, a rise started in the Democratic Party. You can see the impact of this regain of rights, as on November 5th, 1874, congress was majority democratic. This caused problems as now, any bill proposing to help the freedmen would be named- as Democrats had a majority in congress. This undermined progression towards a better system of helping the freedmen be free, and not stuck to their plantation still. (Doc 5) Although Democrats had a majority in congress, Rutherford B. Hayes still won the electoral vote, from 1 vote off. Rutherford B. Hayes was agastined slavery, however still won the presidental election, when the other candidate was Samuel J. Tiden who was pro-slavery and was a Southerner. (Doc 8) This is considered the end of the Reconstruction.

 

     In conclusion congress’ failure to gain equal rights to the freedmen failed because of the a constant effort of supression of the freedman , African Americans limited knowlege of the world outside slavery , and the shortage of politcal right activists. A combination of these resulted in equal rights reconstruction efforts to fail."

 

My version:(just grammar checked)

 

     "After the events of the civil war, America was on its way to rebuild the nation. Attempts were made to reinstitution the southern receded states. Along with the efforts they wanted to create equal rights for the freedman. However the Congress’ Reconstruction efforts to ensure equal rights to the freedmen failed because of the constant effort of suppression of the freedman(1,2,4), African Americans limited knowledge of the world outside slavery (6,7), and the shortage of political right activists(3,5,8.) A combination of these resulted in equal rights reconstruction efforts to fail.

 

     The constant effort of the suppression of the new freedman caused the fight for equal rights to fail. An example of this is congressman Benjamin Boyer’s speech (Doc 1) claiming that the “negroes are not equals of white Americans, and are not entitled… to participate in the government of this country.” As Boyer is a democratic congressman his ideals are shifted towards helping the white man. And as a result of democrats in congress, it becomes harder to pass laws to help the freedman. In correlation with Boyer’s ideals the Atlanta News (Doc 4) in which they glorified the power of white democrats in the north whom they believed should be fighting in order to cause the black man to submit. Convincing the masses of how blacks are inferior sparks a large scale barricade in the equal rights movement as many more people begin to fight for their own beliefs. As more people begin to fight for their beliefs they join already established organizations such as the Ku Klux Klan. The KKK was mentioned in the New York Times (Doc 2) who were actively rallying in order to bring back white superiority among the people. As Slaves had now become free and were on their way to be equal to the average white man, this upset many poor white farmers who did not own slaves as now they were the same as ex-slaves. 

 

      Once enslaved African Americans were announced free in the Southern States, the majority stayed, as they had no place to go. Freed slaves had no home to go to, and they could still not get a job anywhere, so they were forced to stay at their plantation in order to maintain having food. (Doc 7) Black Activists/Politicians could not change this flawed paradox, and attempt to develop a better system, because if any freed black became a politician or was involved in political activities, they would not be hired anywhere. (Doc 6) The freedmen bureau was designed to be an open door to freedom, however “chains” were still attached to the “freedmen”. The freedmen's Bureau was a flawed system that only gave an illusion of freedom. 

 

      President Andrew Johnson’s Reconstruction plan gave a blank pardon to all ex-confederates, except for those who were rich plantation owners and those who held office before. (Doc 3)  As more confederates regained the right to vote again, a rise started in the Democratic Party. You can see the impact of this regain of rights, as on November 5th, 1874, congress was majority democratic. This caused problems as now, any bill proposing to help the freedmen would be named- as Democrats had a majority in congress. This undermined progression towards a better system of helping the freedmen be free, and not stuck to their plantation still. (Doc 5) Although Democrats had a majority in congress, Rutherford B. Hayes still won the electoral vote, from 1 vote off. Rutherford B. Hayes was gained slavery, however still won the presidential election, when the other candidate was Samuel J. Tiden who was pro-slavery and was a Southerner. (Doc 8) This is considered the end of the Reconstruction.

 

     In conclusion, congress’ failure to gain equal rights to the freedmen failed because of the constant effort of suppression of the freedman, African Americans limited knowledge of the world outside slavery and the shortage of political rights activists. A combination of these resulted in equal rights reconstruction efforts to fail."

 

 

(Sorry If I altered something weirdly... Just change it back or something)

 

Another suggestion:

 

I would honestly (on average) use about 3 quotes per paragraph.

 

But your is fine, I just feel like in the first paragraph, you should make it clearer what those numbers are, and then add a qoute (unless those are qoute numbers... But please make it more clear.)

 

Good stuff:

You were consistent, you didn't have random lines inserted, and I would give this a low A.

It's great!

Just add transitions, or at least make it flow more smoothly, correct grammar, make it clear what those numbers are, and add more things to the conclusion. Like, leave us with something to ponder about.

 

And that's it.

 

Have fun!

 Aug 30, 2019
edited by tommarvoloriddle  Aug 30, 2019
edited by tommarvoloriddle  Aug 30, 2019
edited by tommarvoloriddle  Aug 30, 2019
edited by tommarvoloriddle  Aug 30, 2019
 #2
avatar+1586 
+2

Sorry, I only fixed the grammar...

 

😶😶😶

😶😶😶

😶😶😶

tommarvoloriddle  Aug 30, 2019
 #3
avatar+120 
0

np. i want really asking people to change anything about the essay in terms of my writing style. I just wanted some help on checking the facts and if my essay is on par with AP US history standards for the AP test that i need to take. My teachers for the past years never taught us how to write it and just keep giving us these Essays as practice and they never go over what i did wrong even if i stay after school. So thats why i decided to post it here in order to make confirm what parts im getting wrong

BLANK  Aug 31, 2019

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