Questions 2
Answers 601


Most of this dialogue sounds like cartoon characters speaking techno babble.


Lancelot Link Peeled Banana Productions Presents:

Bleep and Blip: All in a Daze Work


Teleplay by GingerAle 

Based on original dumbness by select members and guests of


Shanghai’d Technical Consultant: Alan

Shanghai’d Silent Technical Consultant: Rom

Shanghai’d Post Production Supervisor: Melody


Sponsored by Naus Corp: Quantum Dumbness Detection Systems  


We join the universe-saving characters in progress....


Blip: How did you do that? That number is bigger than my pecker...


Bleep: Well, it’s smaller than mine. Anyway, Blip, I used an ultra-sophisticated proprietary algorithm with ternary protocol subzero three (3) and integrand containment post zero (1) metaphase. This commutes the large number, delineating it into a unified matrix, placing the tertiary integers adjacent to each other in the first three (3) natural dimensions.


Blip: Does this index the residuals that exist in subspace? If not, then we will be leaving half our math in another universe. That would be bad!


Bleep: Ahem, yes ...I see your point. I’ll just run the numbers and algorithm through my other ultra-sophisticated computer with advanced proprietary subroutines programmed by a Martian who was educated on Zork Prime. His algorithm can actually divide by zero (0) without blowing up the universe.


Blip: That is impressive! It’s so cool that we can save the universe!


Bleep: Yes, it is. But we must keep it secret.


Blip: Why?


Bleep: Because anyone who knows anything more than the multiplication tables will make fun of us.  It will distract us from our important work.   


[Fade out scene while Blip nods in agreement.]


[Fade in:  Shrine of Organized Stupidity and Perpetual Quantum Dumbness]

Speaker: Thank you for joining us for the canonization of Aaron Traywick


Blip: Aaron was a great leader for our scientific and mathematical theories.


Bleep: Yes he was. He will be greatly missed and hard to replace.


Blip: Maybe you could replace him.


Bleep: No: I would never be appointed to such a lofty position as the Great Arron. I know my times-tables too well and I’ve squared too many numbers, which is really just the same as multiplying, but it sounds better.


Blip: What about me? I only know the ones and five times tables. 


Bleep: No Blip. Once you went past the fives times tables, you were effectively disqualified.

Ours is to work in obscurity and to support the great work of Arron T. and his successors. Maybe someday our contributions will be recognized beyond the elites of our vocation, but it will take awhile for the devolutionary processes to work on the majority population, so it may not be in our life time.


Blip: Such is the pity.


Bleep: Yes it is. 


[Fade out scene while Blip and Bleep gaze into the future, nodding.]

Jan 17, 2019