A Ouija board story.
Halloween eve 2014
I buy a Ouija board at a yard sale a few weeks ago for 2 dollars. I wanted to have a little fun with Morticia on Halloween, because I knew she would be afraid of it. Everyone who goes to my church is afraid of things like that. I have to hide it from my mom because she would be afraid of it too and she also throw it out. Well on the night before Halloween I stay with my little sister when my mom and dad go out. Morticia visit me and after my little sister go to bed I show the Ouija board to Amber and spend about a half hour talking her into trying it with me. That was not easy to do but she finally agree.
I light candles and put them on each side of the Ouija board and turn off some of the lights. We decide on the first question and that was “Are there evil spirits here?” The board say “No” and then spell out “Just us chickens.”Amber think this is funny so we each ask some more questions.
One question I ask was “Who will visit us soon?” The board say “a dark spirit.” This make Amber squirm a little bit. I accidentally bump my phone off the table and pick it up. While I pick it up I put on a devil mask I also get at the yard sale for a dollar. It was plenty ugly and scary and the rubber was falling apart and that made it more scary. When I pop back up with the mask on I say in a devil voice YOUR TIME IS UP!!
Well Amber freak and push away from the table so hard her chair fall over and she shoot up in the air and almost bump the ceiling then she run in place then fall on the floor like she is dead. Then I freak cause I think she is hurt. When I go to help her she beat the tar out of me while she tell me my joke is not funny! She pound me enough to where I stop laughing at least for a little while. She is much smaller than me but she is plenty strong because she is a ballerina and she is in top shape.
After she mostly get over being mad. We talk about who to scare the tar out of with the mask. We laughing so much I forget about the Ouija board on the table when my mom and dad come home. OMG! Did the manure ever hit the fan! My dad was just shaking his head and look up to heaven like he want god to come and save us all. Hahaha
She start with why would I want to open a door tohell and allow evil spirits in to our house. I say the board not have any evil spirits because we ask it and it said it didn’t. Amber nod and say that was true. My mom say evil spirits always lie and she tell me to burn Ouija board in the fire place. I tell her the books say to never burn a Ouija board that have an evil spirit because it will release it. You have to bury it. She not want it buried near our house. So I say I will bury it on the ranch out in the far pasture. I not do that though, instead I write about what happen and print it out then wrap it in foil and put it in a Ziplock bag with some other things and bury that in its place. Someday I will dig that up and have some more fun. Remember Jumanji ? I hide the Ouija board in the big barn under some old junk. I will have some more fun with that too. Hahahaha
My mom call the pastor and elders of the church to come and anoint the house and cast out any evil spirits that might have come in. They were there when Amber and me come back from a walk around the neighborhood. My mom say she want them to pray for and anoint Amber and me too just in case any evil spirits are still around. We are use to this because we grow up with it but this is the first time the elders were ever at my house for this reason.
They anoint Amber first then me and I let out a big looooong burp after they anoint me. It was easy to do because I just mostly finish a giant cup of coke that I got at the Roo when we were walking. My burp seem like it last about 10 seconds and I think it is plenty funny but I not laugh too much because Amber give me a annoyed look and my mom yell at me. I still think it is a funny thing to do for the voodoo they do on me. But I not win that round because one of the elders say I did have a evil spirit because people burp when it leave. I ask him “if I farted for 10 seconds would that mean the spirit is more evil?” Before he answer Amber pipes up with “that probably means you just sh*t yourself. “
Amber slap her hand over her mouth after she hear herself say that in front of the preacher and elders and my mom too. Amber say she is so sorry as everyone look at her with their mouth open. Well I start to laugh because that is the funniest thing I ever hear. One thing that make it so funny is Amber hardly ever use bad words. The elders and pastor were trying not to laugh but that wasn’t working and my mom who now have a face that is more red than Rudolph’s nose is laughing too.
The not very funny part was we were both grounded. It was a week for me and Amber’s mom and dad ground her for 3 days. We also had to copy over a hundred bible verses by hand. Amber can do that in like 4 hours but it take me almost 12 hours to finish. I had plenty of time to do it though. My mom and dad tell me I also had to write a apology to the pastor and elders for my smartbutt remarks. I not mind doing that though because they are mostly nice people but they do seem kind of dumb about things.
My Ouija board cause me plenty of trouble but it was a lot of fun and worth it. I ask the Ouija if I should make this post. It said Oui and Ja. That mean yes and yes :)
This story is hilarious Dragonlance. Your teacher is right you are gifted.
I was in hysterics, I have not laughed so much for a long time :)
wow......that was so funny!
* she beat the tar out of me while she tell me my joke is not funny!*
LOL that is so funny!
*My burp seem like it last about 10 seconds and I think it is plenty funny but I not laugh too much because Amber give me a annoyed look and my mom yell at me.*
i must say .THAT .IS.REALLY. GROSS!EWWWWWW
did you really do that?ofcourse.seriously lance , how ever did you do that, you like...like my dirty brother....hes also this kinda......i just hate it when he does thta......eeeee
* I ask him “if I farted for 10 seconds would that mean the spirit is more evil?” Before he answer Amber pipes up with “that probably means you just sh*t yourself. “*
This, this is even funnier!
btw i dont know what an ouija board is or how did it say "yes or no" is it sought of a machine?how do you play with it?
thanks for that Melody...s that some sort of scary link...tell me before i open?
ive googled about an ouiji board and it scared me pretty well.......dragonlance, dont play with it alright...it might not be serious(according to you) but it can harm youi.....take care!
Amber and my mom usually think it is gross or rude too. It really depend on when I do it. Sometimes they think it is funny too. Amber do more than my mom. Burping and farting is mostly a boys code. I not really know why we think it is so funny. Maybe it is the reaction we get from girls. :) Your brother know it make you mad and that sort of give him a power. But even if you act like you not notice, he probably still do it just because he think it is funny.
You can read about the Ouija boards history here.
OMG! That is so funny! Lance you are wonderful.
How many journal stories do you have? Do you have one about your first kiss?