I have a really good joke,
(open to see)
Once upon a time, a farmer was done in the fields for the day and went to sleep. In the morning, all his cows are missing, and there is a giant footstep in his field. He panics and doesn't know what to do. then he decides to go talk to the oldest wisest woman in the town. She says the monster he's dealing with is called a medikin. He asks how to get rid of it. She says "go back to your farm and dig a hole..." but he cuts her off and runs back to his farm, and proceeds to dig a hole. In the morning, all of his pigs are missing. He runs back to the woman and explains what happened. She says, "Did you dig a hole and cover it with sticks?..." He cuts her off again and covers the hole with sticks. In the morning, all of his sheep are missing. He runs back to the woman and explains again. She says, "Did you first put a loon (the bird) in the hole before covering it with sticks?..." And doesn't let her finish. In the morning, all of his chickens are missing. He runs back to the woman and explains. She says, "Before you put the loon in the hole, stuff it with sugar." He runs to his farm and does that. In the morning, the medikin has been caught! It fell in the hole wanting the loon filled with sugar.
The moral of the story? A loon full of sugar makes the medikin go down.
There once was a group of monks who owned a flower shop. Business is kinda slow, so they travel around the world to find this rare flower. Unbeknownst to them, it was a man-eating plant. Every once in a while, a townsperson would go missing. They didn't know why but eventually found out why the people were missing. They had someone go get the plant, and it ate the person. They had the firefighters go get it, but it ate them all. The police too. Even the armed forces. They told everyone they could about a million dollars for whoever could get rid of the plant. So there's a man named Hugh, and he's pretty poor, so a million dollars is a lot to him. He goes to the monks' shop, walks in, and rips the plant to shreds without getting eaten. The moral of the story is Hugh and only Hugh can stop florist friars.
My friend added this part:
Somehow the monks got another plant, and of course, they wanted Hugh to save them. He invested all of his money in stock, but then the stocks fell dramatically, so he was poor and couldn't have lunch. He agrees to help the monks again. He walks up to the doors and says "I got this". He walks in and gets eaten! The second moral? You're not Hugh when you're hungry.
I don't get any of the jokes...
Am I not smart enough?
they're word puns...
pun: A loon full of sugar makes the medikin go down
normal: A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down (Mary Poppins)
pun: Hugh and only Hugh can stop florist friars
normal: You and only you can stop forest fires (Smokey the Bear)
The part my friend added to the plant joke:
pun: You're not Hugh when you're hungry
normal: You're not you when you're hungry (Snickers commercials)