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what would be a good introduction and a topic sentence plus also a good conclusion to this essay my friend needs help? 

I and my dad named Chad Parker and as we started preparing for our hunting trip by going to get our hunting licenses and also by getting the smell of our perfume and cologne off of us by taking a shower, by laying out our hunting clothes for the night and making sure our guns are in a concealed carry case with the bullets inside also make sure the guns are clean from any dirt on them, plus we make sure we have our hunting licenses in our hunting jackets.   As we start heading to bed early so we can get up early to head on our hunting trip, we both set an alarm for 5:00 am also known as early morning also by making sure we are woken to go hunting and by making sure we have a good nights rest. As we wake up both me and my dad we start getting our hunting clothing on and also my dad goes into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee so we can take our hunting trip also he puts it into a Stanley Classic Legendary Bottle 20 oz also know as a coffee thermos and as we start leaving we start loading everything into my dads truck such as it is called a Ford F-150. Now we can start heading out to the hunting club, we get there also started getting our guns out from the case also the bullets we put the coffee thermos into a backpack with the bullets and after that, we start walking into the hunting stand location after we get there from a short distance from walking we both start getting into the stand and we set everything up too look out the windows but as we watch for deer as we got quiet. As we were quiet me and my dad saw a couple of squirrels climbing on trees and after a while, we start seeing deer move but we see a three-point deer standing close at the shooting range distance but as I grab my gun I anticipated to shoot him down but as I was about to shoot it had given me feeling of having adrenaline rush also I was so excited because it was my first deer and it was the time where my dad and my pawpaw put the deer blood onto my cheeks because it was the passage of becoming a hunter. 

off-topic
 Feb 13, 2020
edited by monkeyree1124  Feb 13, 2020
 #1
avatar+288 
+4

First off, this is an off-topic post.

 

But I can help you edit your essay I guess.

 

My dad named Chad Parker and I started preparing for our hunting trip by going to get our hunting licenses and also by getting the smell of our perfume and cologne off of us by taking a shower, by laying out our hunting clothes for the night and making sure our guns are in a concealed carry case with the bullets inside. Also, make sure the guns are clean from any dirt on them, plus we make sure we have our hunting licenses in our hunting jackets.   As we start heading to bed early so we can get up early to head on our hunting trip, we both set an alarm for 5:00 am also known as early morning also by making sure we are woken to go hunting and by making sure we have a good nights rest. As my dad and I wake up, we start getting our hunting clothes on and my dad goes into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee so we can take it with us on our hunting trip which he puts it into a Stanley Classic Legendary Bottle 20 oz also know as a coffee thermos. We start leaving we start loading everything into my dad's truck called a Ford F-150. Now we can start heading out to the hunting club. We get there and started getting our guns out from their cases. We also the bullets as we put the coffee thermos into a backpack with the bullets. After that, we start walking into the hunting stand location. After we get there from a short distance from walking, we both start getting into the stand and we set everything up to look out the windows. We started watching for deer and start getting quiet. As we were quiet my dad and I saw a couple of squirrels climbing on trees and after a while, we start seeing deer move. But we see a three-point deer standing close at the shooting range distance. I grab my gun and I anticipated to shoot him down but as I was about to shoot, it had given me a feeling of having an adrenaline rush. Also, I was so excited because it was my first deer and it was the time where my dad and my pawpaw put the deer blood onto my cheeks because it was the passage of becoming a hunter. 

 

I edited some mistakes and I can trust that you'll find a way to split up paragraphs, topic sentences, etc. I just fixed some grammar mistakes.

 Feb 13, 2020
 #3
avatar+109061 
+1

Thanks, Animal Master.....you went beyond the  "call of duty" for this one  !!!!!

 

 

 

cool cool cool

CPhill  Feb 13, 2020
 #5
avatar+288 
+2

Lol Thanks!

AnimalMaster  Feb 14, 2020
 #2
avatar+127 
+3

thank you for your help and i missed a lot of mistakes

 Feb 13, 2020
 #4
avatar
+2

 

Break that thing into paragraphs. 

White space is your friend.  Text is easier to read, and it's less likely to cause eye strain. 

That long, run-on narrative was, figuratively, a pain for me to read, and it will be for your teacher too. 

 

edited to add ~

By the way, the correct term for one piece of ammunition is cartridge, not bullet. 

The bullet is the projectile, the part that comes out the business end of the barrel. 

.

 Feb 14, 2020
edited by Guest  Feb 14, 2020

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