1. Dendrophobia: The fear of trees. The trees are just waiting to attack. (Ever seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy?)
Linonophobia: The fear of strings. I mean what if you’re playing a guitar and you slip and the strings snap and end up around your throat and strangle you to death.
Papyrophobia: The Fear of paper. See Dendrophobia.
Genuphobia: The fear of knees. What?..
Dikephobia: The fear of justice. The Supreme Court’s motivation.
Catorptrophibia: The fear of mirrors. It’s tough being ugly.
Cathisophia: The fear of sitting. F- chairs.
Maniaphobia: The fear of insanity. Kind of counterproductive here.
Peniaphobia: The fear of poverty. Mitt Romney’s biggest fear.
Sophophobia: The fear of learning. I just think you don’t like studying man.
Vestiphobia: The fear of clothing. Sadly only diagnosed in old fat guys.
Metallophobia: The fear of metal. “That alloy that holds pretty much everything I have together, yea keep that s**t away from me.’
Ideophobia: The fear of ideas. They used to hang people that had their own ideas. I don’t think they do that anymore though, you can chill.
Heliophobia: The fear of the sun. It’s like 10,000 degrees on the sun, we should all be afraid.
Geniophobia: The fear of chins. Accompanied with a love of Zach Braff.
Epistemophobia: The fear of knowledge. Information is yucky.
Chorophobia: The fear of dancing. No one is ever going to make you dance, bro. Relax.
Blennophobia: The fear of slime. I don’t know what the f- slime is, but I don’t like it either.
Anablephobia: The fear of looking up. Yup."Hey, someone wrote gullible on the…" "NO! DONT SAY IT! AHHHHH!!"
Dutchphobia: The fear of Dutch people. Can’t trust those clog shoes.
Hobophobia: The fear of the homeless. Yea that old man sleeping in trash, terrifying.
Limnophobia: The fear of lakes. “What the f- is all this beautiful water and where did it come from?!”
Neopharmaphobia: The fear of new drugs. I can deal with old drugs, but new drugs…
Phobophobia: The fear of phobias. There is nothing to fear but fear itself.
Prosophobia: The fear of progress. A crippling disease affecting all of Congress.
Syphilophobia: The fear of syphilis. Better to be safe than sorry.
Xerophobia: The fear of dryness. There’s not enough lotion in the world to justify this insane fear.
Kopophobia: The fear of fatigue. Desire to nap.
Didaskaleinophobia: The fear of going to school. Every 1st graders biggest fear.
Cleptophobia: The fear of stealing. So like…just don’t steal. Problem solved.
Auroraphobia: The fear of the Northern Lights. Blind people hate you.
Melophobia: The fear of music. Deaf people hate you.
Optophobia: The fear of opening one’s eyes. It’s an ugly world out there.
Arachilbutyrophibia: The fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth. I don’t believe anyone really enjoys that.
Euphobia: The fear of hearing good news. Nothing scarier than happiness.
Logophobia: The fear of words. Safe to say these people won’t be reading this.
Nyctophobia: The fear of night. Every criminal in Gotham City is suffering from this.
Phallophobia: The fear of (cough cough).
Selachophobia: The fear of sharks. Oh, you’re afraid of sharks? Yea, so is everyone, ever.
Gynophobia: The fear of women. Your gay cousins excuse.
Cyclophobia: The fear of bicycles. I don’t even know. What the f-? Maybe from Calvin and Hobbes?
Alliumphobia: The fear of garlic. Even vampires need their own diagnoses.
Aulophobia: The fear of flutes. Never trust a dude playing the flute.
Dipsophobia: The fear of drinking. I eat my liquids.
Patroiophobia: The fear of heredity. Sucks to have ugly parents.
Lutraphobias: The fear of otters. I think you can go your entire life without ever having to interact with an otter.
Amnesiphobia: The fear of amnesia. Maybe if you get amnesia you’ll forget about your stupid fear of amnesia.
Ambulophobia: The fear of walking. Love of being lazy.
Ephebiphobia: The fear of teenagers. Suffered by everyone over the age of 70.
Judeophobia: The fear of Jews. Understandable.
